致 我的卅

 如果说要我自己评估一下现在已经三十的自己

我觉得是 不及格 吧 👻

主流来说 三十已经是成熟稳重

虽说可能还没到有洋房名车，可是大都有固定的方向了。

升职的升职

拼事业的拼事业

创业的创业

结婚的结婚

当爸妈的追着孩子跑

大家好像都知道自己在干嘛

即使懵懵懂懂，也是在自己的轨道上前进。

那我在干嘛呢？

没有专长 没有颜值 没有身材

没有屋子 没有背景

不想结婚 不想困在家里

没有什么东西是真正属于我

…… 有啦，

现在一辆市面上最便宜的小轿车💙

也是花了七年才终于从银行把它带回来

事业单调 工作根本不值得提起

别人都是管理阶级了

我还在每天浑浑噩噩… 

每次都问自己到底要参与这些公司的浑水多久

每次都给不了自己答案

想认真工作可是还是会被身边的坏因素被影响

自己都觉得丢脸

知道不应该过于情绪化

世界上什么人事物都有  不需要太在意

可是还是控制不了自己的心情想法

常常把自己搞得狼狈不堪郁闷心塞

又不懂该怎么去真正释怀…

对啊，我就是活得很失败啊！

我就是问题 问题就是我

盖自怨自哀的我两巴掌 然后呢？

我就是懒惰 就是没胆量 

只敢自己消化了坏情绪  继续这样颓废下去

常常都有想法很想逃离现在的生活

什么都不想要 什么都不想记得

什么责任啊想法啊包袱啊都不管

去到一个全新的地方生活整顿自己

我可以这样做吗？

我敢这样做吗？

…

致已经三十岁的我

…… 

无言 

但是 

努力活下去吧

:’)

Into the 3rd decade

July.

Into age thirty. 

Time flies.

Once thought that three-ish was so far away, but now it's here.

Doesn't have too much thought on this.

Still living my messy life.

Tons of goals still pending on my list since 20ish, hopefully those gonna achieve before 40ish.

There's a saying mentioning that, 30 is the start of new life.

I hope it works for me.

So, happy 30th birthday to me! :)

卅 · 继续努力活下去

Better late than never - GOALS

 Marchie twenty twenty.

We all are in the midst of Movement Control Order now due to the pandemic.

Human needs to stay/work/eat/play inside the house.

For myself, I'm staying with family and working from home.

Working from home is not fun for my case =[

I always prefer to have a proper working environment, which gives me the "mood" and allow me to be more concentrate to work tasks.

Yea, I wish to resume to usual working routine asap.

And now, more time to spend at home, means easier to get bored and I think I should scribble this post down.

I'm turning thirty soon, here's little goals/plan for myself:

1. Get a birthday present for myself
2. Clear off car's loan
3. Starting minimalism concept
4. Keep room/living area clean and tidy
5. Try to bake/cook, at least.... once
6. Get JLPT N2
7. Get a MacBook
8. Control the bad temper
9. Stick to saving challenge
10. Reduce Star X loan
11. Highlight my hair blue
12. Paying house loan for PaMa

Yeap.

Let's see how's the result next year ;)

Gone with the Wind

道德绑架 真的让人很无奈

明明心中 所想 所要 有所不同

可是却出现了亲情牌/友情牌/大众化责任意识

来让你无可奈何地服从

应该说服从者懦弱、不敢勇于表达自己、不敢为了自己而去挑战吗？

还是说施压者因了解而利用感情枷锁和弱点来约束对方，让对方知道“我真的是为你好”？

不懂 不知道 很想逃避

从小到大的熏陶

保守的教育系统

生活环境的一切

世俗舆论 责任压力

越来越喘不过气

可以分享的声音越来越少

越来越不知道如何“生活下去”

每个人都在进步

我却依然浑浑噩噩 没有方向

活的真…… 失败

好想好想

真的好想

离开这一切

任性的 自私的

只为自己活下去

Big Pay for you!

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Enjoy and happy Big-Pay guys!

1 0 0 0 t h

Today marks the 1000th day with my valentine.

One thousand is just a small number compared to forever.

But I am thankful for our little achievement.

Out of this number of days, of course not all of them are sweet and full of love bubbles.

Life is made of happiness and bitterness.

But I am glad that most of them is lovely.

❤

Most of the time we spent separately.

Distance of approx 376km between us.

I do feel jealous to couples that can meet everyday or every weekend, when we just contacted through phone calls or video calls.

BUT,

maybe the distance do safe us from more quarrels.

So, I an fine with this now LOL

❀

My annoying and caring boy

To more days with you in the future 

x