Countdown to D-day

 Here we go.

Made a simple teaser, to our ROM 💗

#YongMarryMun is coming soon!

🌺

+1

卅 一

就这样 浑浑噩噩 又年长了一岁

Another birthday spent with COVID.

Stay home with family.

Took a day off from chaotic work.

Received lotsa food.

Received lotsa love.

Another ordinary yet blissful day.

Happy thirty-first year to me 💙

Okay. I Do 💍

2021 03 20

Our 2000th day.

Thanks Fatty for the arrangement and surprise.

Here's to forever.

I Do 💍

Grey as always

I wasn't in a good shape recently.

Not in positive mood. Feeling low. Feeling drained out.

Feeling useless.

Read some books and got recommended that is healthy to scribble out, so here I am.

Started a new job weeks ago. Changed my career line to a 9-6 routine job, not professional line.

But I handle like shit. Picking up slow and on & off got lectured by senior.

Super mess up in my mind. Stressful.

What am I doing in my life? 

Why am I still in this kinda mess and low position at age of 31?

I never really had a proper planning for my life, so, this is what I deserved now?

I can't sleep well. Hairs keep falling unhealthily. 

Worst case, I can't feel happiness. Literally.

I do smile but there is something stuck in my mind that takes away the joy right away.

Then I can feel my mind becomes cloudy and moody.

People do tell me "is okay. is easy. is alright"

But I can't feel "is easy" and is not alright.

Recently I have so many doubts to myself.

What is my value?

What am I doing right now?

Why can't I do it? 

Is it I actually a stupid just I too clumsy noticed myself?

Why can't I accept those with open heart?

Why I so weak and so lost, then end up in tears and chaos?

As an "adult" I can't voice out everything to anybody.

I need to "learn" to absorb, digest and live with the negative.

I need to be "positive". 

Nobody would be always there for my negative and tears. Not even another half / best buddy.

Yea. Always easier to say than be done.

Good luck to myself.

Wish can flip over these downsides soon.

☂